To all Good Things…

“A story has no beginning or end: arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.”
― Graham Greene, The End of the Affair

Everything you were following has ended since I last wrote almost a year ago. I had planned to write not long after my last post, but life decided that I wouldn’t function for a while. Let me catch you up:

In June of 2018, Jeremy started training to do a new massage modality called “Watsu”. It’s a melding of shiatsu with the weightlessness of water. He was going full boar, the way he does with everything he gets into. If there is one thing Jeremy is always, it’s passionate.

In July, a friend of his listened to his frustrations with finding a therapy pool warm enough for the modality. Even therapy pools are usually 2-5 degrees too cool for the requirement of 96° F. His wonderful friend is an electrician and remembered inspecting the wiring for a house not far away that was for sale. It also included an indoor pool. The house was well priced and well located in the town that most of our clientelle lives in. It seemed a dream of a purchase for us. We were approved by the credit union of our choice and purchased said house.

In August, we moved from our front door into our new front door. We were new home owners. I was excited to have a garden and a home base for everything we did. We listed the extra bedrooms on Airbnb to try to make some extra cash. We set up our massage room and Jeremy started making preparations for a Watsu pool right in our hometown.

In September, we had some hiccups with the pool heater. Thankfully, we were able to go forward with the business in the house and Jeremy started seeing clients. Our home and our relationship seemed to be coming together quite nicely. We each had friends and jobs that we adored.

In October, everything crashed. Jeremy asked me for a divorce on October 11. I happily obliged. He moved in his new girlfriend. With the rollercoaster that we have lived, I couldn’t do it anymore. You see, in June, Jeremy began a manic episode. During these, he has always had a hard time with impulse control. Buying the house and ramping up his watsu practice added to the excitement, which added to the spiral. We weren’t able to contain it before it struck our marriage. And my boundaries were broken in a way that wouldn’t have been fair to either of us to continue and he didn’t want to continue putting in the effort to gain it back.

So, in November, I moved out of the house I spent only 3 months getting used to. I moved closer to work. It cut my drive down from 42 miles to 11. It also gave him the opportunity to keep doing something that will provide for his life and well-being. I am now living with a group of good friends and moving on with my life. For the last 4 months or so, I’ve worked through in my brain how this can be my life now. Less than a year ago, I was ready to stay in the RV for the rest of my life. I was happy to be with my best friend every day and live a life that, although not conventional, worked for us as much as life can with mental illness.

Now, here in March, I am happy and peaceful after our finalization. We still have the boys we share. They will not abandon me as their stepmom. I have a grandbaby to get to know as much as I can and she’s beautiful. I have friends and family who care about and for me. I am in a place to embrace all of me and share it with only those who respect it. I know more about boundaries and expectations than I ever have. I will always expect respect for my boundaries. And I will share myself with the family and friends who do so. I have embraced Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

No matter where you run into me, just know that I will always live a crazy, nomad life, even if I’m tied to a home-base. It might be in RV life, it might be running a 5k, it might be none of the above. Either way, stay safe, stay sane, and I’ll see you on the road.

The Wheels on our House Go Round and Round

Jeremy has taken to singing this song now that we’re on the way to our “new home” for The Girl Next Door. Please don’t sing “The Wheels on the Bus” to me or mention the wheels on our house… I think I may lose my mind.

It’s amazing how fast this all is happening!

Once the windows were done, Jeremy wanted to start moving as soon as possible.

So, one day I came home to this. The Girl Next Door was parked in front of our townhouse. She just barely fit in the yard. You can see in the big picture that she really didn’t get to be level while there. Our yard and driveway are slopped so that rain and snow melt run away from the building. That kept her a little off kilter. So, front door to front door, we started moving in.

Jeremy and his parents had wrestled our regular queen mattress into the bedroom. It hangs a bit over the end of the platform, but it is so much more comfortable than the foam mattress that existed. We don’t know if it was the original from 1990, but we wouldn’t have been surprised. Now we have a pillow top queen mattress stuffed right in where it’s supposed to be.

Jeremy and I moved most of our things from the townhouse into the belly of The Girl Next Door. We made some organizational decisions on the fly, like who gets what closets, where the spices go and if we’re going to use the under cabinet appliances or not. So, the toaster went bye bye, the “pantry” became Jeremy’s closet, and the spices are above the sink.

Saturday and Sunday nights, we decided we were going to try it out. This way, if it was too cold, something broke, or we changed our minds unexpectedly, we could just go back inside and sleep in the guest bed. It was actually very pleasant with a heated blanket for most of our heat. The more of our stuff we moved, the warmer the place stayed. It also helped that I finished all of the Reflectix window insulators.

Monday morning, Jeremy had gone to workout when there began to be a knocking on the townhouse door, then on the door of the RV. When I opened it, I found our association manager. He told me that we needed to move the RV somewhere else; that it wasn’t allowed and there had been complaints. At the same time that he was talking to me, Jeremy got home. So we jumped into action.

Everything that would fit from the counter and table got thrown into the sink. Jeremy took off the window insulators and started scraping off the frost that had accumulated both inside and outside of the windows and windshield. I put the larger things away where we planned to keep them later when we move around, including the basement, the closets, and just tied up in a chair. Once Jeremy unplugged her cord, we were on our way to our next destination: our friends Jason & Ona’s house.

Jason & Ona will be helping us with making sure she works well. Jason has some experience working with big engines like this. He was the one that helped so much with the exhaust back in February. They’ll also help us out a bit to make sure the appliances and electrical system are working correctly. We’re more than a little grateful for their hospitality and help.

We weren’t able to stay long when we dropped her off at their house. Jeremy had to get back for a massage immediately, so we left her sitting in their driveway and Ruby took us to the office. That night, we got home and looked around.

Our living room, guest room, and kitchen were 90% empty. We were excited that we got that much done and ready to take on the next steps of moving. I finished going through my clothing that night.

This morning was the first time we were able to eat at home since then. We found out a very important bit of information about moving gradually… keep the spices and most food where you’re living!! For eggs and porridge, we had no cinnamon, nutmeg, very little ginger, and our pepper is getting very low; we have all of our walnuts and almonds in the RV.

Jeremy picked up what we needed most at Walmart and we went without the other stuff. When I roasted our spaghetti squash for dinner, I did so in a cast iron sauce pan because all of our baking sheets are in the RV. We even made our spaghetti sauce in the microwave at the office because we ran out of time from having to run to the store for seasonings.

We won’t have to worry about this for too long. We are planning on moving into The Girl Next Door mostly full-time starting this weekend. The rest of our things will be moved and all that will be left to be done is cleaning the townhouse and giving them back the keys. T-minus 4 days to full-time. We’re both excited now and ready to have it done with.

There are still things to get rid of and there are communications that we haven’t had yet on the things that need to be done before we can be done at Jason & Ona’s place and move to our semi-permanent location closer to our office. No matter what, we’re happy to still be moving toward embarking on this journey together, no matter how far the mercury falls below zero. Stay warm all, snuggle your loves, and we’ll see you on the road.